Goodbye George...Hello Ron

My Life: So George moved to MO and I moved into an efficiency apartment across the street from a gay bar.

My job at the Gas Company started out as a scheduler. I would call people on the phone and set up appointments for the gas man to come and inspect their house to see how it could be improved to save energy. I was so good at the job that I became the team leader within a month on the job. Soon after I became the floor manager and would be hiring and firing, training, creating manuals, writing for the company newspaper and everything my boss didn't want to do. I was a happy boss to my workers and got along with all of them. During lunch we would go down to the corner bar and have a 3 martini lunch. The people were so much fun. A few of the women in the office had a crush on me. One was Rhonda Short and she was 6'1". The other was Gail Smith and she was on her way to becoming a big girl like her sister. We all loved to get high together and drink and party.

At night, after work, I would go to the gay bar and drink and cruise men. I had a few regulars that I would hook up with. I had been dating two guys very seriously and was having a hard time choosing between them. One was a tall cowboy who was handsome and shy. The other was a short good looking cook who loved to have fun. When the cowboy asked me to choose between the two of them, I chose the cook. Of course, Ron (the cook) was poor. The cowboy had money. Go figure.

Anyway, Ron moved in with me. Two of us in an efficiency. We partied and partied. We had an open relationship and had men over all hours of the day and night. Ron would work when he felt like it and somehow I managed to hold my job together with my social life. I was making really good money and bought a package trip to Cancun Mexico for Ron and I and his ex boyfriend. His ex helped pay some of the expenses but not much. We flew to Mexico and partied there for a week. I went para sailing and loved it. We climbed the Aztec ruins. I tried snorkeling but couldn't do it. And of course, we got drunk a lot. I found that Cancun was just a big tourist trap and was a nice place to visit once. I did learn to say three Mexican phrases "May I have 3 beers please" "I have no money" & "Where is the bathroom". That seemed to be all I needed to get by.

That was my first vacation I had ever paid for. I couldn't wait to take another but I had to get back to work. Ron and I decided we wanted a bigger place and we found a 2 bedroom apartment. Wecouldn't afford it alone so we asked another guy to move in with us. His last name was "Loveless" and by looking at him, I could understand. He was quite "gay" too. Marc Loveless was an experience in itself. He was also an actor and that prompted me to audition again.

I audition for the movie "Full Metal Jacket" but obviously didn't getcast. I didn't have an agent. So I tried to get one. I was told by more than one agent that I "Wasn't goodlooking enough and not ugly enough". I gave up on agents and tried theaters again. I would make the call backs for the professional theaters but not get cast. It was tough. Finaly I landed a lead role in a community theater. "The Physisicts". The role was about a very intelligent man who was in a crazy home and he killed the nurses. Much fun was had by all. LOL

So I was back to acting, living with Ron & Marc, working full time at the gas company in a mangerial position and partying every night. Life was good...

Today: Scott broke his foot last week and I am back to looking out for him. He was skydiving and the parachute broke 20 feet before he hit the ground. Not really, you can email or call him for the real details. I just thought I would spice it up a bit. The garage sale was a success and I got rid of tons of stuff. One person came to help me at 11:30 and that was about the time the customers became few and in between. From 7 Am till then it was a steady flow and just me.

I donated tons of stuff already that didn't sell. I don't understand why there isn't anymore room in this house????? More stuff going out the door this coming week. I have a consignment shop that accepts stuff twice a week, 12 items at a time, so that's another way to bring in some bucks.

Do you like the new picture of me with my mohawk? I have gotten a lot of compliments from strangers and friends alike. A lot who also do not like it. I am almost 51 and feel it makes me younger and happier! Until next week.

Love & Peace

Clayton

Back to D.C. Again

My Life: So I arrived back in the DC area and went straight (gayly forward) to where I used to live. Thank god they accepted me back into the home. It was so nice to be back but I was going to miss the celebrity life.

My first mission was to find a job. Jay Jenkins, a friend at the time, got me a job at an apartment complex turning condo. I was the painter. I was pretty much my own boss and did a lot of slacking off. It was a high rise and across the street was a hotel. I would bring my binoculars to work and watch the visitors without them knowing. I know, you think I'm a pervert. I was young and horny all the time, what can I say.

The household where I lived broke up and everyone went their separate ways. I moved into an apartment with Jay in D.C.. I would go everywhere in the city now that I lived there. I dated 5 guys at one time and went out to the bars when I wasn't seeing them. I really like this one guy named Louie Zanilotti. (I saw his name on the AIDS quilt years later) That's another chapter.

Life was good. I hung out with friends like J.R., Mike, Raoul, Jim and more. We played pinball at the bar, partied like there was no tomorrow and just enjoyed life.

One night in the Eagle Bar, I met a man named George. He was a hot little Jewish guy and we hit it off great. It wasn't long after that we became lovers and I moved in with him. From the beginning of the relationship I told him that it would be an open relationship and that I needed a night out every other week (or was it once a week?) - I can't remember. He agreed and it worked out great! I remember one night we took some acid and went to see Friday the 13th at the local movie house. We walked there and by the time the movie had ended we were too freaked out to walk home. We kept thing there were killers behind every tree. Acid and horror movies do not go well.

George bought a condo in Alexandria and we moved in. A really nice place at the time. One night when he was away on business and I met a bunch of kids selling magazines door to door. Since I had done this job before, I invited them to come over and do their laundry and get high with me. They left hours later and that night one of the guys came back. He was the only guy under 30 that I had ever slept with.

After one of George's business trips he told me that he was being promoted and he would be moving to California. He wanted me to come with him. Well, you know I jumped on that one! I was finally going west and I could break into the movies. I had the support of a good man, I was still young, and people always said I had talent. There was no holding me back. We packed up and left!

California was a party state. I was a party guy. Mix the two and you get an addict. I was well on my way to becoming an alcoholic before then so it wasn't hard for it to get hold of me.

George and I moved into a nice garden apartment in Garden Grove. I found a job with a temp agency called "Volt" who hooked me up with the Southern California Gas Company. It was a contract job and too far away from home. On one of my nights away from George I slept with the bosses daughter. I think that was the most angry I had ever seen George. He really was and still is a sweet man. We stayed together for a little while until he got another job in Clayton, Mo. I didn't want to go so we parted ways.

So now I am on my own again...

Present day: Scott and I looked at houses in Gainesville. They were really nice and not that expensive. Houses here in Arlington are 2 to 3 time more for the same size. So we are considering moving out there. We really do hate where we live now. There are theaters out that way if we ant to get involved. We have friends in the Manassas area too. We'll see.

Today we are going to Herndon. Scott was the costumer for the kids show at Eldon Street and it closes today. So we have to gather costumes and then cast party.

I have a lot of cool items from the yard sales yesterday that I will be putting up on eBay so stop by my eBay site. I also have to get ready for the yard sale this weekend. Busy, busy, busy!

Love & Peace,

Someone Started a Fire!

My Life: So I made it to Baltimore and checked in with my new boyfriend at the "Hotel Baltimore". The show "Hello Dolly" was performing just blocks away. The first night that I was there I was sleeping when Tiv woke me up and said "There's a fire, we have to go". I told him that I didn't want to go. He had to shake me to get me out of bed. I grabbed my leather and we were the last ones out of the building.

It seems the fire was in one of the work area of the hotel and it was caught quickly. We were all able to go back to bed. Being a sound sleeper back then, it was easy to go right back to sleep. About 2AM, Tiv wakes me and says "There's a fire, we have to go" to which I responded "I have already been to one" and promptly went back to sleep. It was harder this time for him to get me up. By the time I was up and grabbed my leather the hallways and stairwells were full of smoke. We were the last two people out of the building because of me and it was really hard to breath.

Once out, we met up with Carol, her husband and another woman. We escorted Carol safely away from the pavorati. One snapshot that made the paper showed Carol's husband wearing her expensive fur coat. It also caught a part of me, but not my face. The article read that the entourage included a heavy set woman in stripe shirt, a man in full leather with chains (me) and her husband.

It seems a disgruntled employee had set the fires and he was arrested that night. The rest of our stay in Baltimore was pretty much uneventful. Our next stop was Detroit Michigan. Talk about cold!

While in Michigan I wanted to do something other than be known as Tiv's boyfriend. I bugged Tiv to get me in the show or have me do something with the show. He was able to get me backstage anytime I wanted and I started learning the chorus parts. Tiv said that Carol was going to be filming a movie about a mother whose son comes out of the closet as gay. He told me that I would be able to audition for the role. Exciting! I know I bugged him about this a lot too. It never came to fruition.

After Michigan, we went to Reno Nevada. Once there Tiv got me the job of Eddie Bracken's personal dresser. I would help him change costumes and be his errand boy. I was paid scale and spent all of it gambling. Nevada is not the place for me. I also got to meet Foster Brooks whose was a good friend of Eddies. One night Carol, Tiv and I went to see a professional drag show that had a Carol impersonator. It was too much seeing both of them on stage at the same time. Reno was the last stop for a while. Dolly was going on hiatus and Tiv had landed another job with "Annie".

While traveling with "Annie" I met all the kids (mostly stuck up little diva's). Lisa Raggio who was in the TV show "Private Benjamin" and a few others. I did a couple of walk on's with the show but wasn't paid or recognized. I so wanted to perform again. Pretty much all I did was hang out and drink. Tiv was getting on my nerves because he would tell me what to do and how to do it, what to wear, what to say, how to mix a drink etc etc etc.

After a few months of "Annie", "Hello Dolly" was back. We went to Chicago for a 3 month stay. Tiv and I got an apartment this time and I went to work for a gay couple doing painting and wallpaper. Two nice looking men who had their own business and taught me everything i needed to know. After work everyday was a party. Since I worked days and Tiv worked nights, we barely saw each other. One night after work, I got wasted and messed around with one of the bosses. Tiv got mad at me for staying out late and drinking. He began Yelling at me and calling me names. The next day, I didn't show up for work and the guys called Tiv to find out where I was.

I asked Tiv for money and got on a bus to come back to D.C.. I didn't see Tiv again for over 10 years. I didn't tell anyone that I was coming back and had no idea where I was going to live...

Today: I am not feeling too good this morning and am trying to shake it off. We went to a crab fest birthday party yesterday. The Arlington Fair is today and I want to go. I just hope I can do it.

Love & Peace,

Clayton

More, more, more

My Life: The picture is of me at "Le Salon" the gay book sore, theater, peepshow, sex toy store I used to work at. Look at that tacky wallpaper! The drinking age was still 18 back then and I would go to the leather bar "The Eagle" to start drinking after work and then go to "The Exile" to go dancing. My best friend from Florida, Richard had moved to DC and with a few other guys, we rented a house in Arlington. I remember 4-5 gay guys living in the house at any given time. One of them was a guy named Jay who worked at Le Salon too.I got Richard a job there and we were one big happy gay family.

I had another friend John (also known as JR) who was the same age as me but looked younger. He was more of a pretty boy and he ended up getting a lot of men that I wanted. Don't get me wrong, I got my good share of HOT men. I only dated men that were 10+ years older than me and I was quite popular. Although I fell in love with a few of them, I didn't pursue being in a relationship. I was a whore and I didn't want to change. One time I had 8 men in one night at work. Orgies were familiar in the back room too.

I used to walk to the bars or take a cab. One night I borrowed a friends car. He lived in the same house I. That night, I got wasted and asked a guy if he wanted to...you know. He said yes and asked me to follow him to his hotel room. As I was following him, drunk driving, I dropped my cigarette and went to go for it. As I did, I rammed right into him. It was pretty much a blur after that and I woke up the next day at home and the wrecked car was in the driveway. I have no idea how I got home. When my friend asked what happened I told him that I hit an embankment on the side of the road and he pretty much accepted it was an accident. The following week I got a court summons in the mail from the guy I hit. It was a rental car and he had reported me to the police etc. According to the police report, after I hit him, there was a high speed chase. I lost him and my mind! Court would come son and I would have to face the consequences.

I did not borrow any more cars after that. I would take the subway, taxis and buses. That was the year that "Hello Dolly" with Carol Channing was in town. I walked into the "Eagle" and saw a man with a huge mustache, Blonde hair and older. I made a beeline to him and he told me he was Carol's personal dresser and his name was Tiv Davenport. He was also one of the first original Marlboro Men for print ad's in the 60's. He was so hot, to me anyway. I didn't really fall in love with him. I fell in love with the thought of him and what he could do for me. Yes, he was sexy and I liked that but I loved that he was with Hello Dolly professionally. He was in town a few weeks. I told him I wanted to be with him and he invited me to come along. I still had to go to court before he left and I was sure I would be thrown in jail.

Court was one day before Tiv was to leave. I showed up and told the judge that I didn't get into any high speed chase and that I had no idea what the guy was talking about. The guy I hit didn't show up to testify. I also told the judge that I was leaving the area to travel with a Broadway show the next day. To my suprise, the judge fined me $10.00 and told me to have a nice trip. I think I used up a lot of my Karma on that one.

The next day I was on my way to Baltimore, Maryland with Tiv, Carol and the cast. Her leading man at the time was Eddie Bracken. The first night at the hotel in Baltimore, there was a fire....

Present Day: My finger is still hurting. I'm selling a lot of great Christian music on eBay at the moment. I am tagging things for a yard sale for when my finger is well. I a also looking at auditions and trying to find something fun to do. Any old play will not suffice. It's time to think about what to make for dinner and record TV shows for later.

If you're watching "Big Brother" - Jessie and Michele need to go. Just my opinion.

Peace & Love,

Clayton

My Finger

Sorry it's been awhile but I had an accident and really busted up my finger. It has been too hard to type. It still is but getting a bit easier. How did this happen you ask? Well, Scott and I were moving a piece of furniture out of the van and a hinged door flew open and smashed my finger to a pulp. Kind of like what a grape looks like once you step on it. The fingernail came off, the tip of the bone split and came through the skin and my finger looked like a boiled hot dog once it has been split open. This happened a week ago and the surgeon said the finger would be completely healed in about 6 months. I see him again tomorrow. The pictures were taken a few minutes ago as I was changing the bandage.

Bear Beach is now over and we had a successful run. The author of the show says he wants to put out an original cast recording. Sounds like a lot of fun and I can't wait. Although most of the audience members couldn't figure out what the show was about, exactly, they loved the music. They got a kick out of me in a jockstrap and boots too. There was some really good talent in the show and you'll be able to see the rehearsal process on LOGO TV soon. Not sure of the date yet.

Scott and I just did a video tape of me to submit to host a show on cable TV. We are calling it "The Green Mover". Once he edits it, I will send it to the talent agency.

Scott had another scare when he found a lump in his chest area. The doctor said it was nothing to worry about and the tests came back negative. I don't think either of us could handle another round of cancer so quickly after the first one. As of now, all is well with him. He just needs to get his energy level back to normal. He still tires easily.

My Life: So me an my lover made it back from Florida and rang my Mother's doorbell. When she answered the door I said "Hi" and told her that we were passing through and that Paul was my boyfriend. She invited both of us in with a smile and asked me to join her in her bedroom area. Once there, she asked "Are you the man or the woman?" I told her I was a man and she sighed a relief. She never really had any issues with the whole "Gay" thing. The rest of the family was told and no one said a whole lot about it. They all just accepted me for who I am. The men never did and never will talk about it but the women embraced the whole idea. Even my grandmother.

On the back patio y Grandmother looked at me and pointed to her husband and said "Doesn't he have nice legs?" She married him when she was in her 60's. She had been a single woman up until then. Yes, my mother was born out of wedlock. I think I already covered all this.

So, Paul and I stayed a couple of days. Paul still lived with his mother in DC and we had to get back there. My family helped us with tickets and we were gone. Once in DC, I moved in with him and his mother. She was not happy about it and hated me. I didn't care because I was in love. LOL

Now, I had to find a job. My first job in the area lasted a couple of weeks. I worked for Time Life Libraries as a bill collector (over the phone). That's why it didn't last too long, I hated it! I had to find another job. 14th street NW back then was full of adult bookstores, movie house and prostitutes. I though it would be easy to get a job in the industry and I was right. I became a film man at Adam and Eve movie house. I sat in the projector booth and changed, spliced and ran he movies. You could see in the audience the men who came in and see them ... well you know. Across the hall from the theater was Le Salon - a gay bookstore and movie house. Once I had enough experience I applied there and got a job. The store sold marijuana accessories, magazines, sex toys and many other items. It also had a movie theater in the back with a dark room area for the men to play. Total decadence.

I learned everything a person needed and didn't need to know about sex. I learned all about the gay culture from bears to fems to twinks to tops and bottoms. S&M, B&D, color coding of handkerchiefs and what they all meant. The meaning of earrings, keys, and gestures. Gaydar, butch guys, sugar daddies, and even diaper dudes. The gay world so so much different back then. We were trying to find ourselves and trying to be free. Gay people came out in droves and I feel it was the beginning of the gay movement. A lot of what we did was wrong but we didn't have role models. We messed up a lot but someone had to do it. It took a while for gay men to clean up their act.

I had also learned how to skim the box office while I worked there. I made a small fortune. Paul hated that i worked there and began to go to the bars without me. So, I did the same. We lasted 3 month. He walked into the Eagle bar and saw me kissing a man wearing all leather. He stormed out of the bar and it was over for us. I was devastated and relieved at the same time. That night I had no home...

That's all for right now. My finger is throbbing.

Love & Peace,

Clayton

Bear Beach Opens & I go to Florida

So Bear Beach opened. We had a preview of a few of the songs on Thursday Night at a tent festival. We opened Friday and did a Saturday afternoon show. I think the show is a success. It finally feels good. I'm sure most of the audience members are still scratching their heads and wondering what it was about. The music is fun and I'm getting a kick out of showing off my butt in the audience. It's too funny

I'm back to work again and eBay is killing me. People have just stopped buying. I don't know what I'm going to do. I have taken on clients and have sold their stuff but now that has come to an end. I need more clients! Help!!!!

I have a Fake Christian Dior handbag for sale if anyone is interested. I can send you the pictures. It's a saddlebag style.

My Life: So I went back home after meeting my dad. I stayed with my sister when I got there and visited with my family. Only stayed a week or so and I got a job as a door to door salesman. I joined one of those magazine companies that went from state to state and sold subscriptions. As an actor, I was pretty good at it. It really wasn't a lot of fun but I had to work and they promised that we would end up in California.

There were a bunch of us that did this and I was one of the designated drivers. We had a few cars that we would all pile into. We stayed in hotels and ate out all the time. Pay was very little. The people were exciting and the company changed often.

It was this job that introduced me to the easy women. They often became a part of the sales team and would do anything for a dollar. For me it was free and I didn't complain. The girls always said I was a CJ special. (CJ = Cream in your Jeans). I loved the attention. I had sex often, ate well and lots of exercise. It was not enough! I wanted to go west and try to make it in film.

When the boss kept changing his mind as to where we were going next, I finally got fustrated and decide I had had enough. I got a group of us together and we all quit at the same time. We stuck out thumbs out and went to Florida whwere it was nice and warm. With the little bit of money we had, we got a room in Daytona Beach for a week. We all set out to find jobs. Eventually, no one found work and we split up. Each of us going our seperate ways.

I had no money, no place to stay, no job, nothing. I walked the streets at night and slept on the beach. Once I slept in a 24 hour laundry mat. I even tried a porta john but that was not a good idea. One night I saw what I thought was a hooker enter a bar. I followed her and ended up in a gay bar. The hooker was a drag queen.

Once inside, I knew I could find a place to stay and some food. Guys would buy me drinks and I ended going home with one of them. It wasn't even a sexual thing. He offered to help me and I accepted. He stayed in a sort of flop house where the rooms were 25.00 a week. It was an all gay house and it had a lot of rooms. Most of the guys were like me, just starting out and poor. The guy I stayed with grinded his teeth so bad that I found another guy who would help. He is still my friend today.

He got me a job as a waiter in a gay bar. He was the bartender. After work we would get wasted and hang out with the roomies. That is when we didn't have a trick for the night. It was the late seventies and we didn't know better. It was the culture at the time. We drank, did drugs and had as much sex as we could find. We slpet all day and partied all night. Thank god none of us had a car! We would walk to and from the bars. There were even gay bars ON the beach and a gay section of beach.

Once, a policeman ordered me into a cab because I was too drunk to walk. The cab got to the house, the door opened and I fell out. The guys on the porched all laughed and cheered. What a mess I was. I would even drink all the bartenders mistakes.

I was promoted from waiter to bartender. Ran lights for Drag Shows and became one of the most popular guys in the area. Everyone knew me. I was a big flirt, used men and would spend all my money on partying. Then one day, a hot 35 year blonde with a big mustache drove by me when I was in another car on my way to the bar. When I got there, he was there too. I fell in love for the first time. Come to find out, he lived in Washington DC and was there on vacation. We decide that we were going to be lovers. Unforynately, he was poor and we could only afford half the bus fare back to DC where he still lived with his mother. My god, what an idiot I was!!! On the way back to DC, we stopped at my mother's house.... (I hadn't really come out to the family yet)

OK. Enough for now. This is very tiring remembering all this and there is so much more to come. Yes, I would change some things if I could but a lot of them were valuable lessons. Some took a long time to learn. LOL More later.

Love & Peace,

Clayton

Who am I? In Search of me.

So I am a day late and a dollar short, as usual. Thursday we picked up a headboard, footboard and frame for the new bed. One of my most favorite people, Michele, gave it to us and all we had to do was go pick it up. She is such a sweetheart. She also does odd jobs like I do so if you need help with something, she is someone to call on. Let me know and I can set you up.

We had rehearsal on Saturday at the theater in DC and I was sick. I knew I was running a fever and felt like dying but I had to put on a good show because LOGO TV was there filmiing the rehearsal process. It was also the first and only time we would rehearse in the theater. I'm not sre I would do a Fringe Festival show again. It's very stressful.

Sunday I recovered from being ill and did a bunch of eBay work. I was supposed to do my blog but forgot. So it is now a bloggy Monday morning.

My Life: I packed the car and headed towards New Madrid Mosouri. I was going to meet my real dad and his other family. I wasn't sure if my car would make it but I didn't care. I had my last paycheck from working at the Omni Hotel in Norfolk. It wasn't much but it would buy me gas and supplies.

I took 3 days to get there since I wasn't in any hurry. On the last day I picked up a hitchhiker and he rode with me to the front door of my Dad's home. It was one of the most terrifying moments in my life. My Mom had always told me how awful he was and that he was a mean drunk and lazy etc etc. I rang the doorbell and low and behold he answered the door. It seems he had been fired from his job that exact day and was home. I introduced myself and he invited me in. I told the hitchiker I would get him a sandwich and then he had to go. I knew I had met my Dad when I was a little kid but didn't remember much about him. Now I got to meet him as an adult and get to know him for real.

My mother was so wrong about him. He was one of the nicest men I had ever met. He told me stories of how he would drink on occasion, like most men back then. He also told me stories about my Mom and how she would sleep around with other men. I always wondered about this since I didn't look like anyone else in the faily and I saw my mother flirting with many men as I was growing up. Anyway, I didn't care who was telling the truth as I knew they both hated each other.

My dad had a new wife and son. She was a bible thumping pain in the ass and I couldn't stand her! My half brother was 10 years younger than me and that was the last time we have ever seen each other. To this day I have no idea where he is.

Now, New Madrid is a very small town in MO and here wasn't much to do. Here I was a gay party animal and no where to go. The most fun the teens had in town was to drive around the Wendy's on the weekends. There were no jobs to be had and no drugs that I could find. I was able to purchase booze since the drinking age was 18. My dad got a new job and would give me a few bucks for booze. I did land a job at KFC but only lasted one day. The boss was a slave driver and got angry if you ate any of the food. It was horrible. I would hitchike to the next town over just to see if I could meet someone new. I did meet an airline pilot who pretty much used me for one night and never sw me again. He was around 40. I hated living there.

I had to do something. Yes, I thought my Dad was a wonderful amn but I could not stay there. Then my car died. so, I signed up to join the Navy. I took all the tests to see what I would be good at and I excelled at map reading. I was going to be part of some intelligence division. I took the physical and passed. All I had to do now was sign the papers and go to boot camp. I said goodbye to my Dad and his family and instead of going to sign the papers I hopped a bus back to Virginia. It was the last time I saw my Dad alive. He passed away very quickly after that from cancer. I didn't even go to his funeral. I was ashamed of myself for not following through with the navy and for being gay. I know now that he would have understood although his wife would have banned me from their lives. So, back to Virginia and a new job as a door to door saleman....

More to think about. Moe to do and less time to do. I have got to get to the post office and run some errands.

Love & Peace,

Clayton