Sunday, September 13, 2009

Full Circle

Today & My Life:

I woke up feeling nasty. Like a hangover without any booze the night before. Puffy eyes and nausea. I can do this!

When Scott came home from the doctor's and told me that they had found cancer in his chest, I was stunned. I listened to him and took it all in and asked questions like what's the first thing we have to do to get rid of it. I would go with him to his next doctor's appoiintment to discuss treatment.

The rest is history. We have come Full Circle. It has been about a year and a half ago that I started this story. Scott and I are as healthy as we can be, considering out history. We still love each other and I know I will always love him. Between the ups and downs, the laughter and the tears, we have fought a big battle and won. Cancer, HIV, Alcoholism, Drug Abuse, deaths and surgeries. Family, friends, and pets. Live each day the best you can for you may not see tomorrow.

Someone, somewhere was just diagnosed with a deadly disease. They are about to embark on their own journey. If it turns out that you know them, ask yourself - What if it were me?

Today we are going to lunch with a friend who found out she has breast cancer. She is going to have her breasts removed this week. Yesterday she was going through the anger stage and we hope to help her through it and give her the encouragement she needs to fight. Today it is all about her.

Who will it be about tomorrow?

Love & Peace

Sunday, September 6, 2009

Self Confidence


Going to John & Elizabeth's for a little cookout! Two of my favorite people. I'm starting to get hungry already. Happy Labor day.

My life:

I made the callbacks!!!! I was so excited. When I got there to do my second reading there were only 3 of us going for the same role. One guy was really bad and I knew he had gotten a courtesy call back. Must have been a friend of the director. The second guy looked the part and only did a fair reading. I did a great reading but I had not shaved my mustache and I didn't look the part.

I was told by Scott that you should not dress up as the role when auditioning because the director may have a different outlook on the character. Maybe I should have shaved because the role was given to the other guy. I was devastated. I told Scott I would do the costumes for "Steel Magnolias" which was what he was directing.

While looking for another role to audition for my side started to act up again. I was having more pains where they had operated and it was bulging. Another doctor's visit and I was told my mesh holding the hernia had torn and needed to be replaced or something. I can't remember exactly what it was but I was pissed. I needed another operation and on the same thing! The doctor told me it would be an overnight procedure and it would heal quickly. I wondered why they couldn't get it right the first time. I set the operation up for a couple of weeks in advance.

I was having a fun time with the cast of Steel Magnolias and we were shopping at the thrift shop for costumes when I got a call on my cell phone. It was the director of Biloxi Blues. It seems the guy that he cast as Toomey was a real diva and was not getting along with him or the cast. They called me in to see if I could have a private audition/interview. I agreed to meet him and he offered me the role even after I told him about the operation I was to have a few nights before opening night. I only had 3 weeks to learn all the extensive monologues and actions.

I spent every available minute going over my lines. Scott would come home from work and I would be outside doing lines. I did lines while in the shower. I did lines everywhere. I would rehearse them without emotion just so I could get them down. It was a big role to take on with so little time.

During the last week of rehearsals I actually cried and thought I would never be able to pull it off. The director gave me encouragement and told me I was doing a great job. I was scared.

I had the operation without any complications and went home the next day. My whole stomach was wrapped up and I would bleed if I strained the area. Opening night was only a couple days away and I could barely move. Now I was even more frightened but I held on and persisted.

The last dress rehearsal was horrible. I had stopped in the middle of monologues and forgotten where I was. I really sucked. I had the lines down but I was overwhelmed with fear of screwing up that I did screw up. I had to do this and prove I was worthy of this role!

The night we opened I was bleeding a little and had to re wrap myself over and over again. I stormed the stage with all the confidence I could muster and by the end of the night people were screaming and ranting about how awesome I was. I barely remembered being on stage. I had done it. The biggest challenge of my life. I pulled it off and the run for Biloxi was to be very successful.

The reviews were all excellent. I was nominated for a WATCH (Washington Area Theater Community Honor) award for best supporting actor. There were almost 200 men that year who had done a supporting role and I was chosen as one of the top five or six. The year prior I hadn't even know what a WATCH award was.

When the ceremony was held and they started reading the nominations all I could think in my mind was...please don't say my name, I can't go on stage and talk. When they announced me as the winner, I thought I would faint! I was still a nobody in the theater community and they had recognized me as a talent. I was thrilled.

Scott encouraged me the whole time and supported everything I had to go through. He was my rock during all of this and I was so thankful to have him in my life. He had given me more confidence since I could remember. With that I began to audition for more plays and land more roles. Thus I have met some of the best people I could ever wish to meet. Scott and I would work on plays and enjoy life until he got the call...

Love & Peace