This is Juicy. Scott and I went to the animal shelter on Thursday July 2nd to rescue a baby from jail. She is 7 months old and adorable. She has had all her shots, spayed and micro chipped. Cost to us was only $25.00. I am so happy we could give her a good home and have a chance at a happy life. Our other girls are getting along with her just fine.
Juicy slept with us last night and she had her head on my pillow most of the night. How anyone could put such a wonderful creature in a shelter, I don't know.
Today we are heading to a Fourth of July Party and tomorrow I have a full day of rehearsal for Tartuffe. Busy weekend again.
My Life: I have this huge scar on my stomach from where they removed the appendix. Since it had burst, they had to cut a much bigger hole than usual. Even though I am still in a lot of pain, I have to get back to work. While I was in the hospital, Ken got Jim to help him with the computer side of the business. He had no idea how to do any of it and he refused to learn. He said it was too hard. If anything happens to me, Ken would have to find a real job.
After working another few months long and hard we decided to go to Vegas. It was Ken who decided this more than me. I had no say since I really didn't have any money. He was in charge of all our finances. I was excited at the thought of free alcoholic beverages and slot machines.
We spent a week in Vegas and saw shows and did a little bit of gambling. Ken pretty much put all of it on a credit card. One of the cards I was totally responsible for. I didn't know it at the time but I was thousands of dollars in debt. I pretty much stayed drunk the whole vacation and Ken treated me like a second hand dishrag. we didn't spend much time together and when we did, he told everyone who would listen that he was ashamed of me. The week was one long blur for me. Even the plane ride home I was half drunk.
Back on the home front things started to get even worse. Ken was a very moody person and had no problem taking it out on me. The littlest things would set him off. If a bill came in the mail, he would be mad a me all day. If I undercharged a customer by a few cents he would tell me I was a horrible business person. This was the worst relationship I had ever been in and I felt trapped.
I would hide bottles of booze because I didn't want Ken to know exactly how much I was drinking. When he would find one, more hell for me. I didn't know it at the time but he was watering down my bottles of vodka. I guess I drank even more because of that. I wanted to hide from him on a daily basis. When we went out in public together I would have to put on a happy facade. If I didn't, there would be hell to pay. His torture was all mental. I was so susceptible because I lost my identity and I no longer loved myself. I really had begun to feel like I wanted to die. I had no self worth.
Ken was itching to go on another vacation. I had no money and told him we couldn't afford to go anywhere. He was spending our money at bingo and using credit cards to pay for things like electricity for our home. I already owed over $10,000 on one card alone. He didn't care and told me he was going to take a 3 day vacation by himself to Atlantic City. He left in his car on Friday and told me he would be back the following Monday.
My head was spinning. This was my chance to do something. I had no where to go and no money. I was ashamed at whom I had become. I called Jim to see if he would look after Stryker Dog if I went away for the weekend and he said he would. Stryker was my only companion at the time.
I packed a bag with cigarettes, a pillow, one pair of underwear, a clean shirt, a clean pair of pants, vodka, toiletries and a full bottle of sleeping pills that I had stolen from Ken...
Love & Peace,
Clayton
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