It's gonna get ...

My Graduation Picture. I did get a haircut for this shot!

Ok, already! I really appreciate that you guys are liking my blog. I wish I had more time to spend time writing. I will get at least one entry in a week.

I forgot to let you know what the surprise was for Scott when he came home from visiting his mom. Scott has a queen sized bed that he purchased many years ago. It was sagging and very uncomfortable. I went on Craig's List an put a want ad for a new bed and explained that I had only $100 and that the bed was for someone who was just finishing up cancer treatments. A man whose brother has passed from cancer responded right away. He was in the mist of a divorce and sold me his guest room queen for $100. He also delivered it and helped me set it up in the upstairs bedroom. I, of course had to tear the house apart to get the old bed out by myself. I donated the old mattress to a homeless guy who wanted it and tore the box spring up into small pieces.

I found it amazing that a complete stranger would help like this guy did. While we were setting up the bed he told me he didn't even like his brother when he was growing up but was glad that he got to spend some time with him before he passed. Once the bed was set up, I had to put the house back together, by myself. It was a week long process to pull it off and the bed is awesome!

When Scott walked into the bedroom he said "something is different". When he sat on the bed, he knew. No more sagging and waking up with bad back aches! Yeahhhhhhh!!!!!

Bear Beach - The Musical is coming along fine. Lots of rehearsals and I'm getting the hang of the choreography. I respect dancers so much more now.

Before I begin the my life section, I want those of you who read it to know that their will be a lot of gay oriented material as I get older.

My Life: My senior year I was hitchhiking back from somewhere and was picked up by a 35 year old Italian man named Armand. He actually lived in the same apartment complex as I did. He had a wonderful wife and he worked as a butcher at the local grocery store. He had dark curly hair, big mustache and the chiseled Italian facial features.

On the ride home he invited me to come over and meet his wife and smoke a joint, which I did. It became a routine to come by at least twice a week and hang out with him and his wife.

One day after school, i called in sick to my job. It was a Wednesday and I knew that Armand had that day off so I called him to see if I could come over and hang out. I guess you know what his answer was. When I got there we did the usual smoking and talking. Out of no where I felt his hand on my leg. Now, I knew I was gay but didn't know anyone else who was or what to do about it. When he touch me, I got really excited and thought I was going to pass out. I won't go into details on my blog (Maybe when I decide to publish the unedited version). Anyway, we had a wonderful time. I ended up almost losing my job because I kept taking Wednesday's off from work.

I was seventeen at the time and he was 35. To this day, I still like men around my age or older. They are much more sexier and real. I introduced Armand to some my friends. He took me to my first gay bar in Norfolk Virginia, called "Mickeys". When we made out at the bar, it felt so natural. I was so happy that other men had been born this way too. When I was hanging out with Armand I was happy. Before him, I felt as if my life was meaningless and the only thing to do was get drunk and do drugs.

One time, he and I had picked up a friend to go hang out and he put the move on my friend in the back seat. I was shocked. I was even more shocked when I my friend responded with pleasure. Now, I didn't LOVE Armand but I was crazy about him. He was my first after all. And did I mention how handsome he was?

By the end of my senior year, I had told my best girlfriend about him. It seems that her younger brother was gay and had a crush on me and I didn't know it at the time. Anyway, she wasn't happy about it because Armand was married to a woman. It was a mistake letting her in on it because she went to Armand's wife the next day and told her about us. I didn't know she had done it until I went over to visit and his wife pretty much cussed me out at the doorstep and told me to never come back! I saw Armand a few times after that and we still had great fun but it was time for me to move on.

So, I graduated high school that year in 1975 and was so happy to finished with school. Since there was no college in my future I wen to the gay bars in Norfolk and found the first hot man that would let me move in with him. His name was Steve Malik and he was an actor too. He taught me about poppers and living the "Gay" life. This lasted about six months. One day while he was at work, I packed my things in my car and left - no note, nothing. I wanted to find myself...

So many memories are flooding in my head right now, I have to stop. It's going to take about a week to put them together. So, see you all next week!!

Peace and Love,
Clayton

My Life

I have errands to run. Scott will be coming home tomorrow, eBay is falling behind because I was sick yesterday and rehearsals are in full swing. I have to at least try to make the house look good.

One note before I go into my life. I have found that most people are good. The last entry was an exception to the rule. Someone really pushed my buttons and I went off. I am so blessed to have the most wonderful people in my life right now. Please live life to the fullest everyday.I love you all! Now, on with the show. LOL

My Life: So drama class was my next big adventure in my life and I started auditioning for more roles. The school decided to to do 3 one act plays in one night. I auditioned to be in the one called "Dope". It was about a drug user and dealer who tried to keep his sister from taking drugs. I got the lead!!!! The role was very difficult because my character "Louie" had to shoot up on stage, slow motion fight, slap his sister, go through withdrawals and then got shot and died in the end. I had already known about drugs but not to that extent. I did research on withdrawals and found out how bad it really could get for a person. Not easy to portray on stage but I felt I pulled it off.

One of the performances that my sister was at became legendary in my family history. She was watching the show and when I got shot she stood up and screamed "They Shot my brother". I think that was also the night that I almost knocked out the actress who played my sister on stage. I slapped her so hard she almost passed out. I really got into the role.

The show won me all the awards there were to be won at the school. I also won best talent in the eastern part of Virginia. I took the death scene to the state competition and didn't place. Some guy playing folk music on the guitar won.

From that show on, I auditioned for everything! I usually got cast in the lead roles. I was going to be Henry Higgins in "My Fair Lady" but a senior told the director that was the only role he would take and he was the only other guy that was talented enough to do the role. That was ok because I enjoyed playing "Pickering" and won awards for that too.

I starred in "Albert's Bridge" and "The Thwarting of Baron Bolligrew" at the community theater. I thought for sure I was destined to be a star. I so couldn't wait to graduate high school and go to "The New York Academy Of Dramatic Arts". The problem was I didn't have the money for the tuition. No one ever told me about scholarships and my parents wouldn't help me. They focused more on my sister than any of the boys. I guess I was just a big pain in the ass to them. That's how I felt anyway. So, I had to try to make it on my own.

11th and12th grades were good to me in high school. I went to both proms. Had A's and B's (except in Government). During the 12th grade I only went to school for 3 classes and then off to work. It was a program back then that allowed work to count as class time. I loved it!

I also had an affair with a 35 yo that last year....

Love & Peace,

Clayton

Me & The Girls

So Scott left for Utah yesterday to visit his family. It just me and the girls! I just hope he will be comfortable since there isn't a lot of room for an extra guest there. I know his Mom and Dad will make it as pleasant a stay as they can. They are both very caring.

I was very angry with people the other day. I watch wife swap and it seems people can't change any of their habits for one week without throwing a hissy fit. Men seem to be worse than women but both hate change. One week is not a lot to ask of someone. Heck, I changed a lot of my habits for 6 months while Scott was going through treatments. I had to imagine if it were ME, how would I like to be treated? Are people really so selfish they can't sacrifice for their family for one week? It's hard to imagine but they are out there. They better watch out for Karma when comes to bite them in the butt!

Today I am volunteering to man a booth at the pride festival for AGLA. There had better be shade! 12 noon to 3PM at the booth and then Michele and Betty are going to meet me to go around to the other booths. Should be fun!

I'm working on a big surprise for Scott when he gets home. It's not a party, so don't go there. Anyone who wants to help, drop me a line. I can't give the details since he will probably read this before he gets home.

I will be leaving here in about an hour so I have other things I need to attend to. With rehearsals for the show and my surprise for Scott and eBay, I won't have much time to blog. I promise I will get back into my life and more when things settle down. Hopefully within a week or less.

Peace & Love
Clayton

It's Been A Week

Time has flown by this week. When I get wrapped up in rehearsals there's not much time left for other things. I'm having a hard time learning some of the music from the show and it's going to be a real challenge for me. I just hope I don't disappoint. I'm giving it my all and Scott says I sound good and have very good musicality. If I could add sound this site I would have added a piece that we taped during rehearsal.

Scott seems to have hurt his rib or something where they are giving him the radiation treatment. I'd be doing something and out of no where I hear "OW". He moved wrong again. I took him to rehearsal with me on Saturday so he didn't have to be alone at home. 4 more days of treatment and it's over! Let's just pray it stays gone and he does not have to go through this again.

It is already hot out and getting hotter. Yesterday was so stuffy we couldn't breathe outside. The worse the weather gets, the more I go GREEN. I have been recycling for years. Today, though, I use reusable grocery bags, give stuff away on free cycle, pick up used packing peanuts from others and even have a GREEN glass cleaner. I'm sure I'll be doing more to help the environment in the future. Add a little at a time and it becomes habit. I'm still not smoking since I quit in October and don't want to smoke. After 35 years, that a big accomplishment.

My Life: Last time I wrote I was in the 10th Grade. Menchville High School was brand new. It had a smoking lounge for the students and one for the teachers. Two cafeterias, huge sports field and locker rooms and gym. Nice big theater and large classrooms. I began to appreciate school that year for the first time since I was a little kid. I enrolled in Drama and my teachers name was Joyce Spencer. One of the few teachers names I remember.

My first exercise in Drama Class was to say one sentence 3 different ways. My sentence was "Did you throw that brick through the window?" I did ok but not as good as the guy who did "It's Dead". That was the beginning. I was hooked. The first year the class put on "The Miracle Worker" about Helen Keller and Anne Sullivan. I auditioned for one of the male parts and was not cast. I was so upset over not getting a role that I went to the community theater in Fort Eustis and auditioned for them. They were doing a Musical called "The Apple Tree" and I got cast in multiple roles. My first show!

That year molded me a lot to who I am today. I became popular with the regular kids and even some of the black students. There were no such things as African Americans back then. I really came out of my shell and it was easy for me to talk to anyone. I definitely would recommend Drama Class to all kids. Whether it be on stage or behind the scenes.

Taking drama took away much of the Drama in my real life. I still did all the things I had done before but not as excessive, or so I thought. I graduated 10th grade with B's mostly. 11th grade I did better and was in one of the hardest roles ever for me to perform......... Next time

Today I have eBay, yard work, pictures and celebrating John A. Birthday. If there is drama today, make it fun drama!

Peace & Love

Clayton

It has Begun

I hope everyone got to read Scott's blog. He has a brilliant idea about a charity and personally I think it rocks. We are a society that thinks money fixes everything when in actuality it doesn't. It helps us survive by providing the essentials in life. Many times those who are unfortunate because of circumstances like cancer have to go without the little things that make life more enjoyable.

Here is a list of things I came up with for Scott's charity. Dog Grooming and people haircuts for caregivers. Washing the car, cutting the grass (yard work), cleaning a room or house, watching a movie with each other, massages, errands like picking up meds or post office. So many things one could volunteer for. As soon as I know what I can do to help, I am signing up! With all the help we received since Scott became ill, I know I want to give back. Like that movie "Pay It Forward".

I don't have much time and I have to get to rehearsal:

Rehearsals have begun. Bear Beach is off the ground. It is a musical in the genre of Beach Blanket Bingo meets the Bermuda Triangle meets the Gay Bear community. It is already being advertised in "Bears Life" Magazine and will be filmed for the LOGO channel in early July.

I had no idea this was going to be as big as it already is. I just went to the audition to have fun. Now I have 5 roles that include dancing and singing. My poor legs!

Umbrella's here I come.

Love & Peace,

Clayton