Much Better & Busy again

I am doing a lot better. It took a while for the bronchitis to completely go away. Now I'm so far behind on everything it's hard to catch up. Plus, Scott has had some kind of flu/cold for the past week.

Today we're going to a birthday party in Arlington and then to see "Falsettos" in Herndon. Scott has rehearsal after that I have to get things done at home. It's going to be an exhausting day.

My Life: I finally came to the point where I had to tell Mitch and Christine that I was moving to Florida. Since they didn't know I was gay I made up a pretty lame excuse. I told them that I had a place to stay for free with free food and medical care if I needed it. Since I had already been condemed for being gay and HIV in the past, I didn't want to lose them as friends by telling them the truth. What a mess I was.

Once it was out that I was leaving, Mitch was furious. Christine was upset and the kids were crying. I started having panic attacks and locked myself in my apartment. I couldn't face them again. That week I rented a trailer to haul my stuff to florida. No one helped me pack and no one came to see me off. I left the apartment in a shambles because not everything fit in the trailor. I got in my car and didn't look back. It was probably one of the dumbest things I had ever done in my life (at that point).

I knew I was making a mistake from the get go. Ken and I weren't compatible in bed, he drank way too much which made me drink, he had a 7 year old son and a mother who needed him for everything. The thing was, I was so lonely for companionship that I thought he could provide it for me. He was, according to him, head over heels in love with me.

It took a couple of days for me to get to Florida since I didn't like driving that far. It really hurts my back to drive more than a few hours at a time. I cried a lot and wondered if Mitch & Christine would forgive me.

When I did get to Florida, Ken was there at the house waiting for me. We unpacked the trailor and got drunk. Looking back on all this, I feel it was the beginning of the end for me. The next couple of years were miserable. More details on that next time.

Love & Peace,
Clayton