Sunday, March 30, 2008

Madness Takes It's Toll

I am so glad that yesterday is over. I had a horrible night before and got very little sleep. When I got up at 6 in the morning I felt like crap. Still, I managed to go out and catch some yard sales. Got a bunch more things to sell on eBay and a brand new grill (mint in box) for 10.00. What a bargain! After yard sales my van started acting up and I had to drop it off at the shop. Scott lent me his car so I could go to my friends funeral. After the funeral I just had to come home and lay down. Most of the day I felt sick and light headed. I think the madness in my life was taking it's toll on me.

The funeral was my first Buddhist ceremony. There were a lot of people chanting and it was beautiful. I did go to the alter and offer incense to the universe. The church was way too hot though and I could not handle it for the entire ceremony. I felt like I would pass out if I stayed much longer so I had to cut it short. I do have to say that I am very impressed with the buddhist way of thinking. I knew a lot about it when I was in my early 20's and now I want to learn about it again.

When I pass away, here are some things I want at my funeral service: - Do not dress up! Wear comfortable clothes that make you feel alive. Men was remove all neckties at the door! No high heels on women unless they are sexy! Laugh or smile and say hello to everyone. No church music. I want "Shiny Happy People" by the B-52's playing and songs like that. I want a big barrel with a slotted lid on the top where everyone can write down any problem they are having and put it in the barrel. Then when everyone has done that - take a match to them without reading them. And last but not least - Eat , drink, dance and tell fun stories! Have the ceremony outside on a sunny day if possible. And...I want my dogs, and everyone's elses for that matter, to be able to attend.

I think I have gone even more mad. LOL I was born in Washington D.C. on October 1, 1957 and that makes me a Libra. We tend to weigh everything before making decicisions. Heck, sometimes we just give up and let other people make the decision for us. I am now 50 years old and could possible live another 50 years, although I highly doubt that. I did way to many bad things when I was younger and karma has a way of kicking one in the butt down the road. I ought to know since I have been getting kicked a lot recently. Good and bad. It is much easier to make decisions now that I am older. I decide to love life today.

Today, I am going to try to make this room I work in a little more comfortable. Ease some of this discomfort and make my life easier and roomier.

As usual: Thank you all for your help, words, food, emails etc. I have some of the best friends a person could ever want!

Peace and Love,
Clayton

1 comment:

Sharon Lynn said...

Clayton,

I like your vision of your funeral. I believe as a Christian that death is just a birth into a new life free of pain, etc. and being with our Lord. So, it should be a celebrsation of LIFE!

When Mom died almost 2 years ago now, I did use "church music" because it meant a lot to both of us. I did bring our dog Heidi with us to the cemetery and took her down to the grave site after everyone had left. I even set off a butterfly balloon at the end because butterflies symbolize new life, resurrection. Then, the close friends and relatives went out for lunch to share memories, laugh, etc.

I like the idea of the barrel with the slot so people could put their worries in to be burned later.

Hope you are feeling better and not so light headed.